The Arrival Fallacy

Written by: Jun Wei

What is the Arrival Fallacy?

Remember when you yearn to complete your PSLE, N-Levels, O-Levels or A-Levels and thought that completing it would end your misery and bring you long-lasting happiness? And then the next phase in life hits, forcing you back into the hustle culture again? You may have fallen prey to the Arrival Fallacy.

The Arrival Fallacy is essentially the false notion that once we achieve our goals or reach our desired destination, life will become easier, more enjoyable and more meaningful. However, from our experiences, we know that this is definitely not true. Instead, it creates unrealistic expectations that can lead to disappointment and a sense of emptiness. Also, when people get too focused on attaining their goals, this illusion will prevent them from enjoying the process and even lose track of the smaller things around them!

For instance, let’s say that Jeremy is an ambitious individual that strives to earn a five-figure monthly salary before the age of 30. To achieve this, Jeremy does his best to please his bosses every day, completes his work with perfection, and takes up additional opportunities given by his company when needed. Eventually, he promotes quickly and managed to get a five-figure salary paycheck. But at what cost did it come with? Jeremy may have neglected his health, loved ones or even his relationship with his colleagues for the past few years, some of which cannot be restored. Will his five-figure paycheck grant him long-lasting happiness? Definitely not.

Why does it happen?

The Arrival Fallacy can be driven by many reasons

1. Culture

The older generations in Singapore tend to place a high value on achieving certain milestones, such as getting a degree, a promotion, or buying a car. These cultural expectations can lead us to believe that reaching these milestones will bring us ultimate happiness and fulfilment. As such, many strive to meet those expectations without giving a thought about whether it will make them truly happy.

2. Personal expectations

Sometimes, we may set unrealistic or overambitious expectations for ourselves and believe that achieving this specific goal will solve all of our problems. But in reality, we all know that the satisfaction from this is often a brief one. Before long, you’ll find yourselves feeling not as satisfied as you imagined to be, and start aiming for other achievements. This will become a vicious cycle that eventually causes you to lose sense of other things around you like mental health and relationships.

3. Fear of uncertainties:

Perhaps you were simply lost and do not know how to navigate through life. Clinging on to a goal can be helpful in the short term as the Arrival Fallacy can provide a sense of comfort and motivation by providing a clear endpoint to strive towards. But relying too much on the Arrival Fallacy can be harmful in the long run.

We see this when O-Level students pursue an A-Level education when they do not know what they want to pursue if they were to study at a Polytechnic. Chances are, many will still be lost by the end of their A-Level journey and will be unsure of what to pursue in University.

So how does being mindful of the Arrival Fallacy help you in your gap year?

A gap year is a time to step back from the pressures and expectations of traditional education or career paths and explore new experiences, interests, and personal growth. It is an opportunity for you to learn and grow in a way and at a pace that is unique to you

During your gap year, it can be easy to fall into the trap of the arrival fallacy and believe that the experience will only be worthwhile if certain milestones or accomplishments are achieved. For instance, one might think that their gap year will only be “not wasted” if they travel to a certain number of countries, learn a new language fluently, or find their dream job or passion.

However, being mindful of the arrival fallacy can help you to focus on the journey and appreciate the experience for what it is, rather than solely focusing on the endpoint. By being present and open to new experiences, you can learn and grow in unexpected ways and find fulfilment in the process.

Here are some ways that being mindful of the arrival fallacy can help you during your gap year:

1. Embrace uncertainty:

Instead of trying to control every aspect of your gap year, embrace uncertainties and be open to new opportunities and experiences that come your way. Remember that the journey is just as important as the destination.
As Indian Hindu Sage Ramana Maharshi once said, “Let what comes come. Let what goes go. See what remains”.

2. Focus on personal growth:

Use your gap year as an opportunity to explore your interests, develop new skills, and gain valuable life experience. Instead of focusing solely on achieving specific goals, focus on personal growth and self-discovery.
Ultimately, your growth and skills are what you bring into university and your future career, not your achievements!

3. Practice reflection:

Take time to reflect on your experiences, appreciate the people you meet, and embrace the challenges and opportunities that come your way.
It’s easy to fall into psychological pitfalls due to societal expectations. The only way to realise it is to take a step back once in a while to consider whether you have been subconsciously following what others expect you to do!

Lessons Learnt

Overall, everyone struggles with hoping that the next achievement will be the one that brings them long-lasting happiness. As American Professional Tennis Player Arthur Ashe once said, “Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.” As such, by embracing the journey and finding joy and purpose in the things we do, we can create a more fulfilling and satisfying life that isn’t dependent on achieving specific goals or milestones!